Some Time Later

So LiveJournal has been bought out by the Russians...and I, for one, welcome our new Russian land overlords.

But enough about that, let's talk about my brilliant letter writing to The GAP ad campaign!

You see, dear readers, a few years ago there was this very nice show on television called Arrested Development with a very funny cast of characters including a nice boy called little Will Arnett. His wife, whom he would call Blamy if her name was Amy, appeared on the show as, of all things his wife, and was also very funny. Unfortunately, Big Greedy Corporate Bastards said "this show is critically acclaimed, but not enough people watch it and it does not make money, so I will CANCEL IT! Mahoo mahoo ha ha ha ha!"

This left poor Blamy (slave name: Amy Poehler) to be the sole provider for their burgeoning family of two as little Will's movie ventures turned out to be completely misunderstood by critics (who panned them) and the mainstream movie goers (who didn't, in fact, go). Yet, Big Greedy Corporate Bastards cannot stop picking on this poor family and have forced all members of the Writers Guild of America to call a strike, forcing Blamy (who's other work includes the absolutely unpopular, poorly-received, and completely bankrupt film Mean Girls) out of her job!

Now, I like Blamy and little Will, so much so that I was overjoyed to see them working again in a very funny GAP ad where they looked very "meh" -- possibly because in Richard Avedon style, they were informed of a puppy who'd just been run over, or because it is the outer expression of their feelings about Big Greedy Corporate Bastards. Meh, indeed.

So, I wrote an email to the advertising, marketing, and customer service address for The GAP, asking if they intended to create a book of the holiday portraits (from which I could cut and frame the photo of Blamy and little Will) or sell me a print of the wonderful photo, but they told me that I could not! Apparently, their advertising is not for sale -- though in several years time, probably they'll give it out as a book of photos on Black Friday as their "door buster" gift with any $50 purchase. The representitive who penned the two-sentence missive (which is how I could tell a human being had actually read and responded to my query -- corporate form letters are usually much more verbose) seemed geniunely surprised that I would want to purchase such a photo, and apologized that the photo could not be sold as prints because it was for advertising purposes, and something about copyright, etc.

In the end, I purchased a copy of a glossy women's fashion magazine featuring the ad, and will mat and frame that myself, but I'm a bit peeved that the GAP is making excuses for not selling me the print -- a sale from which some proceeds would have to benefit Blamy and little Will, for whose images and likeness rights would have to be appropriately paid.

In other words, the GAP has joined with Big Greedy Corporate Bastards in trying to screw this poor couple out of money!

But you can help!

If there is one thing Big Greedy Corporate Bastards want you to do, it's send them your fuckin' money, and if there's one thing an out of work, on-strike couple needs, it is also your fuckin' money! So write the GAP! Tell them you want to buy the photo of Blamy and little Will! If there's one thing that Big Greedy Corporate Bastards respond to, it's people demanding to give them money (or threatening to deny it to them) and they'll have to sell the photo to me (and you, of course!) if enough people promise to pay them money for it! So come on, people! Send an email to The GAP, so that your money can buy a photo that will give two under-paid comedians a chance! Come on, lads! Let them know it's Christmastime!

PS -- Re: my last rant, I stand corrected. But current email and comment count, we have, in fact, six readers! I promise, my dear six readers, I will not let this amazing and overwhelming fame go to my head. I will not drink or buy a new, fast, red rally car, nor will I become one of those whiny, annoying twats always going on about helping others by giving them your fuckin' money.

Oh. Right.